Newspapers exist to tell people who have never heard of Lord Jones ­ that he has died.

­ G.K Chesterton

There was a time when something actually had to happen before it could be transmuted into print, or flashed upon TV screens. Aeons ago, when I worked for the Australian Broadcasting Corporation in Melbourne and Hobart, things were different. Reporters of that era could only report on what was actually spoken in council chambers, legislatures or public meetings, not speculate on what anonymous critics 'feared' might happen. My job description was that of reporter, not astrologer. From those baroque times we went from the Age of Aquarius to the Age of the Vicarious. Behaviour, once thought to be bizarre, has now become commonplace while events of great significance are ignored or distorted.

Sometimes there seems to be more physical threats among Jerry Springer's guests than at World Wrestling Federation events ­ my mind and keyboard freeze at the word contests. But one does see superbly conditioned wrestlers courageously risk serious damage to their vocal chords prior to entering the ring as they scream fake threats to their opponents, or more accurately their fellow vaudevillians. Fake anger, expressed violently outside the ring, is followed by fake thumps and bumps inside as the ropes are comically used as sling shots. I sometimes wonder if they call their training sessions, rehearsals.

More recent wrestling events are taking place in cages, a much more appropriate arena than traditional boxing and wrestling rings and, in its way, evolution of a sort. But has anyone noticed the similarities between TV wrestling and the Jerry Springer show? Certainly they both exhibit spectacular demonstrations of strength, agility and restraining moves from muscular men; and yes, the wrestlers demonstrate impressive and daring agility. But perhaps a little coaching in elocution would be in order for all parties concerned. If truth really is the first casualty of war, the second must be mutilation of the English language.

One wrestler, who, ignoring political correctness, calls himself Mankind, wears what appears to be a dog muzzle. In hindsight, perhaps Mike Tyson should have worn one during the Evander Holyfield fight. But Mankind has written a very literate book on his profession while his wrestling kinsman, the eloquent Jesse Ventura, currently rules as Governor of Minnesota. Only in America? Yes, I know, but the evidence does indicate that the wrestlers (who are paid extremely well) are perhaps more intelligent than the audiences at matches who pay big money to watch them. Both shows, however, induce a fleeting thought that some offshoots of human evolution might be encountering a role reversal, something neither Darwin nor Wallace contemplated.

Nowadays, TV anchors invariably use the adjective 'angry' in their opening salvoes in what are laughingly called newscasts. But at least the 'cast' part might be appropriate as a metaphor for the broken English so often used on television. The 'anger' reported is often as fake as that of the wrestling and Jerry Springer events. Rather surprisingly, the city of Chicago recently told the renowned Mr. Springer to stop the violence on his show. I saw more real violence as a child when my mother, a truly gentlewoman, beat up egg yolks while making custard.

But regular news coverage is full of contrived stunts which often distort or displace accurate coverage of many serious events which impact our lives, while the environmental sciences are often ignored. For well over a decade, polychlorinated biphenyls were demonized by protesters who dominated media coverage of this environmental problem. Many of the PCB contaminated wastes contained valuable thermal properties which, scientific studies showed, could be safely used when burned as fuel in cement kilns. We might have gotten rid of PCBs and other toxic wastes while possibly making huge volumes of quality cement with lower production costs. It was not to be.

Cement kiln proposals were never implemented in Canada after certain angry activists ­ not unlike their wrestling counterparts ­ opposed proposals to use this technology with fierce chanting and threats like some medieval tribal battles.

But the activists' anger traveled overseas like 'flu virus'. While Canada, ironically, had been a pioneer in the use of cement kiln technology for PCB disposal, the methodology was never implemented. Yet on my last visit to France I found the French were proud to use PCBs as fuel in cement manufacturing while, at that time, cement kiln waste treatment technology had been halted permanently in Canada. Moreover, the Ontario Waste Management Corporation, after spending $10 million annually, was failing in its proposals to build a toxic waste facility. Meanwhile there were serious PCB accidents, including a dramatic fire involving PCBs at St. Basile-le-Grand in Quebec.

Desperate for a solution as PCB wastes piled up, a cargo of Canadian wastes was shipped out for disposal in England. While tied up on London's River Thames, awaiting unloading for shipment for treatment and subsequent disposal, it lay at the docks without a murmur of protest. Uproar broke out after a Canadian reporter casually mentioned to some Fleet Street journalists that PCBs were considered an environmental threat in Canada.

Now British journalists are a mischievous lot. On hearing that PCBs were rumoured to be toxic, the ink stained wretches lept upon the story with their famed ferocity. PCBs, which had not yet been headline material in the UK, now provided instant gratification for reporters who were practically running out of cliches from slagging Margaret Thatcher and the Royal Family. Soon huge headlines warned of a 'cancer ship' docked at the Thames.

Activists hung a skull and crossbones banner from the hull. Then the ancient London docks, which had once withstood the might of Luftwaffe bombs, now capitulated to ink, paper and placards. London dockers refused to unload the vessel, proving once again that graffiti can be mightier than the sword.

Canada, a country which had once overcome U-boat threats in the Battle of the Atlantic, was unable to land a cargo which might have proved no more toxic than the ship's fuel oil. Ironic eh? A country which had once provided a lifeline to Britain, could not, funnily enough, now extend its 'waste-line'. So the captain had to beat an ignominious retreat across the North Atlantic before sailing up the St. Lawrence to Baie Comeau, then the riding of Prime Minister Brian Mulroney, proof in itself to some, of divine guidance. But here too there were angry protesters awaiting the arrival of the ship driven from Britain.

By this time, hundreds of tonnes of fuel oil had been consumed during the voyages without treating a gram of PCBs. Meanwhile, the transportation costs of the still untreated PCBs probably exceeded equivalent volumes of Dom Perignon. Yet despite all the substantial ecological and economic costs incurred, we were still back to square one, a load of untreated and unloaded PCBs. I never did hear what happened next; perhaps this ship was doomed, like the Flying Dutchman, to sail aimlessly and eternally around the globe.

Certainly PCBs are toxic and should be treated with great care, but so are many other chemicals in common use which are safely disposed of without hysteria. What about the benefits of PCBs as coolants in electric motors, capacitors and other equipment? Almost certainly, they prevented many fires and perhaps serious injuries or loss of life. Alas, a cultish demonization of these and other chemicals ­ fanned by a careless and ignorant media ­ discouraged useful debate on this issue.

PVC was hailed as a new threat in the late nineties causing London's fabulous Millennium Dome to be covered in Teflon instead of the PVC as originally specified. Tony Blair's previously all powerful government capitulated after Greenpeace protested. The substitution of Teflon for the previously specified PVC demonstrated the power of activism over the Mother of Parliaments.

Acronyms beginning with a capital 'P', it must be noted, seem to be linguistic lightning rods for protest groups. Perhaps it's because hysteria is more easily generated with convenient three letter acronyms than by complex polysyllables such as polyvinyl chloride or polychorinated biphenyls which, being both hard to read and pronounce, do not lend themselves easily to placard slogans or simplistic ritualistic chanting. Life may, after all, end not with a bang or a whimper, as T.S. Eliott wondered, but with an acronym.

Copyright Tom Davey, all rights reserved.